Perfect 10

Is it just me, or are standards for dating gotten like totally ridiculously high?

I mean, I could be wrong but I feel that what people are looking for are just not fair to ask. This is not just about guys wanting to date super models, girls seem to have impossible standards as well. They want a nice, smart, funny guy who is ridiculously hot, that's sensitive but not TOO nice and has a good amount of money in his pocket. Yes these are all redeeming qualities but is it too much to ask? I think so. We can't have it all. Its nice when we find a guy who is available, good looking, well on his feet and happens to be good looking and charming, but he can't be perfect, that doesn't exist. In my experience if a guy has a lot of something, he often is lacking in something else, and that con just might outweigh the pro.

This is what happens when you set out to find the "perfect" guy, you are basically setting yourself up to fail. Especially if you are not willing to overlook the faults.

As for me, I've actually never set out in search for the "perfect" guy. But I'm starting to think that my problem might be that my standards were set quite low. None of my past boyfriends were particularly great looking. They had some nice qualities but in the end they turned out to be oober religious, self loathing, too detached or TOO clingy. What I'm looking for now is a good balance. Trouble is I'm still not fully over my last crush on Brandon and you may very well know.

So what's with him? I find that he has the attractive part down, he takes care of himself and can dress himself which makes up for his height (he falls an inch or two below me). Also talking with him can be highly entertaining, he's nice enough where we get along so well but is cocky enough that it doesn't come across as too nice or needy. He can make fun of himself and make you laugh. He can also be very smart.

I thought for a while that he just might actually be pretty perfect, but ya know what? I think sometimes he thinks he is too and thats kind of the BIG problem I have with him. He sort of puts himself on a pedestal, whether he wants to admit it or not, he does. Its when I get THAT vibe that I start to turn off to him because its like he thinks he's better than, not just anyone but better than me. Or deserves better than me which is fucking bullshit.

I want to apologize if it seems like I obsess over Brandon in this blog, but thats only because I do. At this point in time he is a HUGE part of my life, and being one of my best friends he probably will be for quite awhile...only I hope in the future I wont need to vent about him.

Anywho,

So where was I going with him and having standards? Well Brandon happens to be my glimpse into a man's world when it comes to their point of view in dating. I was having a rather enlightening conversation with him last night which eventually got a tad discomforting because by the way Brandon was talking to me, you would think he was talking to a younger boy who was asking for advice to score a chick. I guess the point he was trying to make was that men have to do a lot more work than girls when it comes to meeting up and striking up a conversation. But parts of the whole thing that bothered me was that he made it seem like it was all black and white and knew EXACTLY what to expect with women. Like all women are the same. It seemed pretty objectifying.

I wanted to tell him that he knew shit about women. Of course you can't tell Brandon anything, he always has an argument. I wasn't even going to bother. But truth be told. I really don't think he knows women. He just knows some...and the majority of them are stupid. Because think about it, if he knows so much and is so great, why isn't he in a relationship. I know its just because he doesn't want one. I'll tell you what another reason is, because there is never a girl who is good enough.

Now we come to men setting standards for women. Some men just don't have any. But some are after the "perfect 10". I've got it down to 5 categories, worth 2 points each: Hair, Face, Bust, Bod, and Personality. Now that one of for the nicer guys that are looking for long term. For the assholes, the last categories can be swapped out for such things like "ass" or even her level of drunkness. But in any case, you pass all categories, you're the perfect 10 and worthy!

Now everybody rates differently according to taste, fair enough. But isn't a perfect 1o difficult for any girl to achieve? I mean, I think myself to be quite a catch but a perfect 10?

Ok, physicality alone, how would I rate myself?...I'm tall, pretty good legs, clean complexion, expressive eyes, long hair, decent smile, slender but not particularly thin, small chested but broad shoulders...hm...an 8? Maybe? I think that's confident enough without being totally narcissistic but you see my point? I'm not a 10! And how could I possibly compete with a 10?! It's like I'm in some sort of beauty pageant and I'm being judged all the time. This is also what's difficult when you have guys for friends because you hear about "perfect 10"s or lack of which. Is Brandon not settling for less than 10? My god I don't even DARE to ask how he would rate me. I'm afraid of it. I know if I asked he'd be honest and I'm not sure if I'd want his honesty about that. It probably would make me want to starve myself or go running until I pass out.

I believe if you want to be happy with ANYONE, even if you find your "perfect 10", you're going to have to compromise at some point. I've come to understand that. Its about balance. But am I going to find a great guy who is willing to compromise with me?