I could have danced all night...

I just got home and I'm still a little drunk. I should go right to sleep but I feel I should right this down now while I'm still feeling strong and completely honest.

I went out with Brandon, Jessie and Terra tonight. Went to a bar with an awesome dance floor and there was no cover charge and Terra payed for my drinks. There were a lot of people tonight and although the evening started out slow we soon were all dancing on a glowing dance floor with bodies surrounding all over.

There were a lot of guys with their eyes on me. Some were kind of cute but nobody I was really interested in. There was a turkish guy whom I'd met before and wanted me to go home with but I wasn't about to let that happen. I wasn't about to leave my boys. Brandon and I had an understanding: If a guy bothers me, he's my get out free card. Brandon would be my boyfriend. I couldn't have been happier. It could have easily been Jessie. I know its really not anything, but just the fact that he cares enough. I figured there would have been no reason for rescue however. Most guys seemed to be going for Terra.

I figured wrong...

As I said there were quite a few guys with their eyes on me, the Turk and a few others. There was this guy in a grey sweatshirt that tried to grind up behind me. Jessie pulled me towards him and Brandon and suddenly I was dancing between them, Brandon and I were front to front. This went on for a little till Grey shirt went away and Jessie went to dance by himself. Brandon and I continued to dance together. I always loved dancing with him. Gives me an excuse to be close to him. Another guy in a red shirt tried to get at me but Brandon and I kept moving closer together, our bodies were in sync. It was a moment I've dreamt for so long. I haven't danced with him like that since Valentine's Day 2009 when we first went out dancing together. I so bad wanted to rest my heavy head on his shoulder but I didn't dare. He and I continued to dance relatively close for the rest of the night, looking out for each other.

By the end of the night, I wanted to cry. Not really out of joy or sadness, but out of pure wanting. Wanting physical attention, wanting love, wanting him. I so badly want him to want me. It is so unfair. How can I be aloud to be so close to him yet have to keep my emotional distance?

Damn it.