Finally...

Its hard being the middle of three daughters, especially when the eldest is your mother's dream child and the youngest is the family terror. You feel you are always being compared to both siblings. The parents wonder why you're not like the older one and they forget that you are not nearly as troubling as the youngest one.

For the past two or three years I felt I was always trapped in the middle. I always felt that when my older sister was over, she and my mother would always gang up on me. Its always so difficult because they are exactly alike. I wouldn't have minded so much if I felt I had somebody else who is always on my side. Yes I have my friends, and yes my father is usually with me but even he can't be on my team all the time.

But what's even worse than a perfect older sister is the horrible younger one, Debbie. As you have read in my past blog, she can be just dreadful. I feel I can never have an opportunity to have time alone in my house to have friends over because even if my parents go away, SHE was always there and brought friends over whether I liked it or not.

But my luck I feel may be finally changing for the better. Debbie is finally kicked. And hopefully this time she will not be coming back. This situation can be great and horrible at the same time. It means we wont have anything stolen again and we can finally relax...but it also means that attention might be focused more on me...which can be negative at some points. I'm going to have to do my best to make sure the attention on me isn't negative (even keeping my room clean could be reason for the folks to go off on me...)

I hope this is all for the best...

Week 4 and other things...

Week 4...I lost 8-10 lbs. I'm definitely getting into good habits with keeping up my workouts every day. My only worry is that I might go over a calorie count (even with good food) and gain weight again...but I know that in the long run, I am consuming so much less than I used to AND I'm working out 6 days a week and most of it consists of cardio, so gaining weight in fat really wouldn't make any sense would it? If my numbers did go up, chances are it would be in muscle. After all muscle does weigh more.

But anyway it is going well. Not eating junk food isn't killing me anymore. Sure, I miss it, and I'll be thrilled when I can have it again, but now I feel my health is sooo much more important to me than cravings and I feel there is no way I can go back to my old habits, especially now I can say I'm getting results. So even when I welcome back the junk, its not going to overpower me. I am determined.

But now, I am also trying some other things that are productive. I am officially started my new summer goal. I call it, Project: Terminating Clear out...I don't know why I felt I had to name it, maybe to make it official or maybe to pressure me to actually finish. The thing is, my room is filled with junk and clothes I will never wear again and all it is doing is wasting space. I mean I barely have room for the things I love and still use! Its no wonder I can't keep this place clean. And the idea of having to worry about all this junk in the next two years when I'm getting ready to move out is just too much. I'd rather get it all done and out of my way now, that way when I DO move, there is a little less to deal with. Plus I'm tired of my parents being on my ass about it.

But thats basically whats going on in the summer so far. Two goals to complete...Three if I count finishing reading that book...haha

I'll update again soon...

~IrishEyes

Staying Strong

When I first started this diet (its been almost two weeks) I thought I was going to die it was so torturous. I wasn't used to working out 6 days a week, eating only the healthy stuff and not being allowed to snack on things like chips and crackers. Its still hard. Especially when I see people eating Pizza, burgers and Tacos. I also miss my soda.

Still as the days go on, and I get my workouts in and knowing I am eating right and not too much, there is a comfort knowing that I'm doing right for my body. Its was heartbreaking to hear that my blood pressure was too high along with my cholesterol. Not by much...but still on the high side. This is so much more than vanity pounds, which so many people seem to think I'm worried about. Every day now I look in the mirror and I think to myself "Millions of women wish they could have this body!" And I think about how blessed I am for my body and that I need to take care of it if I want it to last.

This is not just about getting happy, this about STAYING happy. I don't want to look in the mirror in 30 years and wonder what happened to that beautiful girl that I was. No. I'm going to work hard and not give up on myself ever. Nobody can make me completely happy but me. I got to do this for myself. I wont be on this diet forever. But even after the occasional burger or milkshake, I'm going to continue working out to make sure my body can keep up with everything.

I'm staying strong. And in 30 years, I'm going to be able to look in the mirror and say "You still got it!"

You wait and see...

~IrishEyes