Not just in blogged and statuses.
I want to get back into the swing of the things in writing short stories. I feel like I've lost my creative ability. How is it that when I was at community college and had less time on my hands I had more of an urge to do things? Now I feel I can barely pick up and book and read it let alone try and write one. Back in high school I used to paint. Now I haven't picked up a brush in over a year. I used to draw all the time, then it switched to painting and after that it switched to writing and then it switched to music videos and blogging and now I am hardly doing that!
...what the hell is going on with me?
I don't know if its sheer laziness or that I lost my muse.
Or maybe I am just the kind of person that needs a little more of a push to get things going. After all, Brandon had to give me the right amount of encouragement to get me to workout everyday. Maybe I need to have the right encouragement for my creative mind as well. I was always writing more when I was in a class or on the newspaper. I was taking paint classes, I was in theatre workshops.
Maybe I need to get back into a class to find my own inspiration again. Its strange...I always thought that once I have my own time and plenty of it, I'd be able to do everything I dreamed of doing. I would write novels and paint masterpieces and show them to the whole world and they would love me for it. I even dreamed that I would audition for a brilliant play or musical and get the big part and that when I was done with school I would have the time for the rehearsals! But since I have finished school, all I have done was work and come home or spend time with Brandon (Not that there is anything wrong with that). But its not where I thought I'd be.
But then again. My massage license hasn't even come through yet. That was a big part of the plan because once I had that license I'd be able to make more of a more flexible schedule and make more money! Then I'd be able to take matters into my own hands and do more in my life. I've also been concentrating so hard on wanting to moving out of my parents home.
I guess there is a lot more to it.
I just don't want to become that person who used to have so much going for them and then in the end had nothing to show for it. I want to be somebody that Brandon and my parents can be proud of...someone that I can be proud of...
I'll get there. I know I will.
...I have to...
~IrishEyes~
